• Taka

Life Lesson #6: Give without expectations

Updated: Oct 22, 2020

Today I share with you how giving without expecting any return will take you a long way. Before we begin, I want to clarify a point regarding all life lessons I've shared so far. These are things I have learned and to this day, I continue to work on. I know I am no where near perfect but I believe putting the effort to become a slightly better version of myself every day will do me good in the long run. Without further ado, let's get right into the content!


What does giving mean?

Last day at Purdue!

The definition of giving may sound simple. It is to give "something". Broadly speaking we can give someone tangibles such as presents, gifts, donations or intangibles such as help, love, attention, time, and compassion. From my past experiences, I have found giving and receiving the latter has brought me the biggest joy and fulfillment. There is a famous saying,

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel" -Maya Angelou

We are emotional human beings so what Maya stated made sense to me and I resonate with her statement very well. Now that we understand what giving consists of, let's understand why we should give without expectations.


Why should you give without expectations?

I think giving without expectation is great for 3 reasons:

  1. You feel less stressed

  2. Your actions will be more genuine

  3. Somehow good things happen

Giving upfront without expectation allows you to reduce your stress level. When you expect something in return and you don't receive it, you will be upset and stressed etc. Because you don't care about any returns, there is nothing for you to worry about! In addition, when you give without any intentions of returns, you will give genuinely and people will definitely appreciate that. As for my third point, don't ask me how that works. I cannot give a logical explanation behind this but somehow things turn out well, often times with positive surprises when I give upfront with no expectations. Hopefully that is enough for you to understand how powerful this can be!


Case study

I want to share with you an example about giving attention to people without expectations. When I interact with people in person, I try to give my full attention by removing all distractions. What I found earlier on in university was my poor active listening skills. Even though I was physically present, I wouldn't really be listening to the other person (I still do this sometimes...). As a kid, I loved staring into midair and think about absolutely nothing. I simply wasn't curious about anything.


Therefore, I have intentionally made an effort to CARE and be curious about the person over time. By giving as much attention as I can to my friends, family, significant other, colleagues etc., I have been able to build strong, deep relationships with them. As a result, my active listening skills has definitely improved significantly but of course, there is still a huge room for development.


To wrap things up, I would like to emphasize the importance of giving and showing attention, love, support to others. But remember, do so without any expectations because that will work wonders for you. A huge shoutout to Gary Vaynerchuk who inspires me to continue producing content and taught me this big lesson.


Taka's Tip Top Tips

Next time you meet up with a friend, keep your phone in your pocket and give full attention to them. Enjoy and appreciate those small moments :)

Thanks for sticking around! Remember, take baby steps and good things will happen eventually. Be yourself and let's get moving!


Yours sincerely,

Taka

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